Self-confidence coaching helps individuals build the self-belief, courage, determination and empowerment needed to make meaningful changes in their lives.

What is Confidence Coaching?

Confidence coaching is the process of working with a coach who is an expert in the topic and can guide you step-by-step how to cultivate this important skill. It involves several different strategies, such as reworking your mindset, focusing on your strengths, learning how to deal with negative self-talk, setting effective goals, facing your fears, visualization, emotional self-regulation, and more.

A self-confidence coach is not therapist and not a friend. They are not there to help you dig into your past, nor to fill you with empty platitudes and motivational talk. They don’t simply give you tips or quick fixes. In my several years of coaching, I’ve never seen those being really helpful. Rather, the key to this process is a focus on transforming your self-image. This, in fact, is the core thesis of my self-confidence framework, Wise Confidence.

Do You Need Confidence Coaching?

If self-doubt is holding you back—from achieving your goals in life, engaging in activities that you love, having more authentic relationships, or simply feeling better under your skin—then yes. Getting coached to improve your self-confidence can then be life changing.

Imagine a version of yourself where you have all the confidence in the world, and you just know that you will succeed with your goals. You feel an unshakable conviction that you can overcome any challenge life throws your way. You believe in yourself even when you fail, and you are filled with courage, determination, and willpower.

Will this ideal self be living a bolder life? Embracing bigger goals? Moving about more freely? If so, then know that lack of confidence is holding you back, whether in the form of self-doubt or of a full blown impostor syndrome.

Does Confidence Coaching Work?

If you do the work, it works. If you engage in a confidence coaching program with the right type of coach, approaching it with full commitment to the process and willingness to try the exercises, then it definitely works. You can experience results in as little as three or four weeks.

How can a life coach help with self-confidence?

A coach specialized in confidence knows the ins-and-outs of both confidence and self-doubt. They can see how you are sabotaging yourself in subtle ways. They can help you become aware of your blind spots—which is something you are unlikely to be able to do without an external help, because, well, by definition we can’t see our blind spots.

But how exactly does a coach help you rebuild self-esteem and confidence? By helping you redefine your self-image, manage negative thoughts and emotions, and act courageously in your life.

Let’s now explore some of the key strategies used by self-confidence coaches. While I can’t speak for the whole industry, these are the techniques that my team and I use when working with people struggling with self-doubt.

Six Techniques for Self-Confidence Coaching

Some people have internal resistance to self-confidence, even though they also desire to develop it. In my years of experience as a coach, the main type of resistance is believing that self-confidence will make one arrogant or egotistical. Working through these misconceptions means developing a wiser view of confidence, and that is the foundation for the whole process.

When you have a clean slate—meaning that the whole of you believes self-confidence is good and desirable—then you are ready to move forward and start building your confidence by using the six techniques below.

Technique #1: Focus on Strengths

A good place to start is focusing on your existing strengths, an approach much used in Positive Psychology. We all have our strengths, virtues, or “superpowers”—but we are not necessarily aware of them or maximizing them.

Through a series of questions, the coach will guide you to discover your three top strengths. Then you will learn how to effectively own your strengths and lean on them for confidence. This is often done in ways that are unexpected, and you will discover resources within you that you didn’t know you had.

Learn More: Find Your Strengths

Technique #2: Design Your New Self

This is the heart of my coaching system of Wise Confidence, and the special ingredient that supercharges all other methods. Through some soul-searching and vision quest exercises, you will create a new version of yourself, with its symbols and power words.

You conceive of your new identity as full of courage, self-belief, and other desirable attributes. One that feels good under its own skin, and doesn’t have any of the limiting beliefs you currently have. We can call it “you 2.0”, “new self”, or “aspirational identity”.

Then starts the process of living inside out from that new paradigm. You choose to think, speak, and act from that new point of view. You internally shift your identity to your new self repeatedly, throughout the day, until it becomes your new normal.

Learn More: Living Inside Out

Technique #3: Master Your Self-Talk

Negative thought-patterns, limiting beliefs, and disempowering emotions are at the core of self-doubt, and they will continue to arise. How do we deal with them? That is where this strategy, or skill, comes in.

One way is by working on your mindset or self-talk directly. You dialogue with your thoughts, see all the ways in which they are wrong, and teach your mind to think differently. You are working on your thoughts at their own level and building a positive mindset. This is the approach most heavily used within Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

The other way is to learn how to simply step back from your thoughts and observe them without believing them or continuing them. This skill, which I call witnessing, is the approach emphasized in mindfulness-based and mindfulness-inspired interventions, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Learning how to deal with negative thoughts and emotions is the bread-and-butter of confidence coaching, and used by most professionals.

In my experience as a coach, however, I can say that although this is a powerful strategy, it’s unlikely to lead to permanent results unless it is used in conjunction with the aspirational identity work (technique 2).

Learn More: Deconstruct and Replace; Witnessing

Technique #4: See It and Feel It

Visualization is another powerful tool that can be used to imprint self-confidence in your brain. In one of these techniques, the POWER Visualization, you see yourself going through confidence-challenging situations in your day, actively overcoming self-doubt, and showing up as your best self. When those situations then show up in your life, you are much more likely to show up with confidence in the moment.

Another approach for creating the state of confidence is by using embodiment techniques. This generally means finding the emotion of confidence in your body, then developing the skill of rekindling that emotional state at will. One way to do that is via anchoring techniques such as those used in neuro-linguistic programming.

Learn More: Embodied Confidence

Technique #5: Facing Fears

Another key strategy for gaining confidence is actively facing your fears. This means gradually doing the things that you were afraid of doing, and it is known as exposure therapy in Psychology.

Exposure therapy helps you continually move beyond your comfort zone, until you are no longer anxious about doing certain activities. It’s used as a means of overcoming fear and anxiety, and confidence is one of the byproducts of this process. You can find my guide to exposure therapy here.

Another aspect of facing fears is learning how to set boundaries in your relationships, even if that means removing toxic people from your life. This helps you foster healthy relationships that will help build your confidence.

Learn More: Setting Boundaries

Technique #6: Stay Disciplined

Finally, here is one strategy that is under appreciated by other experts in the field: the relationship between self-confidence and self-discipline.

When you are disciplined with your life, goals, and habits, you feel powerful and effective. You know that you can accomplish difficult goals, and change your life. But if you keep breaking your commitments to yourself, skipping your positive habits, not taking action on your goals, not finishing what you start, and giving in to unhelpful temptations—then your self-image will suffer. You’ll end up liking yourself less and feeling less in control of your life.

Cultivating self-discipline is a sure way of gaining not only self-confidence, but also solid progress toward your life goals. This is one of my areas of focus in my work, and if you want to dive deeper you can check out my self-discipline book.

Learn More: Your Daily Disciplines

How can a life coach help with self-confidence?

In summary, a good confidence coach will teach you how to feel confident using your core strengths, re-build your self-image to a more confident one, master negative thoughts and emotions, face your fears, and be more disciplined in your life.

There are also other elements that help you build your confidence and self-esteem, such as learning self-acceptance, practicing self-compassion in relation to your flaws and failures, and setting realistic goals in your life. They might be needed or not, depending on the person, and they support the work being done by the six core strategies shared above.

How to Choose the Right Coach for You?

Choosing the right coach, for any area of life, is a very personal thing. I can only give you some guidelines as to what to look for.

First, certifications don’t mean much. There are excellent coaches who have never gone through a certification program, and plenty of coaches who are certified but not very effective.

Second, look for topic expertise. Does the coach specialize in confidence, or do they have a long list of things they can help you with? Have they written a book on the topic, or at least produced regular content on confidence?

There are coaches who are expert at their craft, and can coach you on anything, regardless of topic expertise. But they are hard to find and identify.

Third, go for someone you personally resonate with. If you feel a natural sense of trust, openness, and connection with the person, you are more likely to go deeper in the work together, and better implement the strategies.

Final Thoughts

If you are not moving forward in your life with all your might, or not daring to pursue big goals, or not feeling quite at ease under your skin, it is likely that self-doubt or lack of confidence is the culprit. For most people, self-doubt is a deeply ingrained pattern that is hard to shake off by ourselves.

A coach skilled in confidence can help you grow your self-confidence, providing a clear path forward and keeping you accountable along the way.

If you want to contact one of our self-confidence coaches, check out our Wise Confidence Coaching Program.

On the other hand, if you like the DIY approach, try the Higher Mind app.