What is the nature of confidence? Is it simply an emotional state, or is it a skill? Scientific studies indicate that it is a learnable skill—which is aligned with the thesis in my book Wise Confidence and my experience as a self-confidence coach.

But why does that matter?

If confidence is an emotion, then it is simply something that you feel from time to time, as triggered by many factors—some of which are out of your control. But if confidence is a learned skill, then it is something that anyone can become good at, with adequate training.

In this article, I argue that confidence is a skill that you can learn, even though it also includes an emotional component to it.

Confidence as Emotion

Let’s start by defining emotion and confidence.

According to renowned psychologist Paul Ekman, “Emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response.”

As to confidence, psychologist Albert Bandura defines it as “a belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. It reflects a person’s perception of their own competence and ability to perform effectively.” In my work I take it a step further and argue that self-belief is just one of the five components of confidence—the other four being determination, integrity, courage, and optimism.

It’s understandable that many people will believe that confidence is an emotion; after all, we say “I feel confident” or “I don’t feel confident about this”. But we also say “he is confident”, showing that confidence is a trait or quality, and “how can I develop confidence”, indicating that confidence is a learnable skill.

By adopting certain practices, you can grow your confidence and make it a more permanent part of who you are, rather than an emotion that comes and goes. Before we discuss how we can do that, let’s explore the aspects of confidence that are emotion-based and what we can do about them.

The Emotional Dynamics of Confidence

Confidence and emotions have a sort of symbiotic relationship, being deeply interconnected.

When we believe in our abilities we naturally cultivate positive emotions like joy and resilience, and we reduce feelings of anxiety and fear.

On the other hand, our emotional landscape shapes our confidence; positive emotions give us a boost, while negative emotions can diminish our self-assurance. Albert Bandura’s research reveals how our perceived competence fortifies our emotional resilience. Similarly, David Dunning’s studies illuminate the critical role emotions play in our confidence, steering our decisions and actions.

When we look upon self-confidence as a skill that can be cultivated, we can experience it as a powerful gateway to positive emotions. Here are some of the emotional benefits of confidence:

• Courage: You dare to embrace bigger goals, because you know that success is possible.
• Motivation: Since you know you can succeed, you feel greater energy and drive.
• Optimism: Having a higher opinion of your capacity brings you optimism and resilience.
• Self-Esteem: You feel better about yourself and within yourself, with less anxiety, depression, or negative thoughts.
• Joy: Being in your own skill feels better, and more expansive, when you know you can solve the challenges in your life and achieve your goals.

Confidence as a Skill

Anyone who has grown their sense of confidence knows that confidence is not only an emotion, but a way of thinking and behaving. It is a skill. This is something I have repeatedly realized in my own life and also in my years of practice as a coach.

There is also scientific evidence to back it. In the study The Science of Confidence, Richard Petty and colleagues demonstrate how repeated successful experiences can build self-efficacy and confidence. Also, research shows how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, interventions can effectively enhance confidence by changing negative thought patterns and encouraging positive behaviors.

It is worth nothing that confidence is a skill unto itself, not necessarily dependent on having competence in other skills—which is self-efficacy, a related but different concept. To unpack these differences, check out my article on competence vs. confidence.

Strategies for Building Confidence

There are many different tools, steps, and strategies that can help you develop the skill of self-confidence. In general, we can classify them all in the three following buckets

• Changing your self-image, or identity
• Tools for shifting your state and managing thoughts and emotions
• New behaviors to adopt

In my book, I call these the three pillars of Wise Confidence: Aspiration, Awareness, and Action.

Aspiration: Create a new version of yourself, or what I call an Aspirational Identity. Reflect deeply on the person you want to be, taking inspiration from role models and fictional characters, and gradually start adopting that as your new self-image.

Awareness: Use mental and emotional tools such as mindful witnessing, questioning and replacing negative self-talk, creating positive states via the use of imagination, and using embodiment interventions to help you release the inner blocks to self-confidence, thus creating confidence in your body.

Action: Use external means to boost your confidence (such as Power Poses or assertive communication), take action that helps you face your fears, and learn how to set boundaries in interpersonal relationships.

Examples of Applied Confidence

What does it mean to actually show up with greater confidence in your life? What are the benefits? Here are some examples:

Personal Life

• You feel comfortable learning new skills, rather than being afraid of failing.
• You take meaningful risks and make bolder moves in your life.
• You don’t feel broken or demoralized when you fail, or something doesn’t work out, or things don’t happen your way.
• You have more authentic relationships, where you can voice your needs and respect your own space.
• You speak more assertively; people hear you more and respect you more.
• You are not anxious about social gatherings, presentations, or talking to new people.

Professional Life

• You are perceived as more competent and trustworthy.
• You are more influential and persuasive.
• You tend to progress in your career more quickly.
• You are not afraid to dive into difficult areas or make career shifts.
• You are comfortable advocating for your value.

Conclusion: Confidence as a Complex Phenomenon

Confidence is not merely a fleeting feeling but a complex interplay of psychological and behavioral elements. Understanding these elements can empower us to foster genuine self-belief.

From the cognitive point of view, confidence is the expression of an empowered self-image and positive self-talk rooted in optimism. Instead of arguing for your limitations, you are arguing for your possibilities. You are choosing to focus on what can go right, rather than what can go wrong, and you are placing a bet on yourself.

From the behavioral point of view, confidence often manifests as courage and determination. You work toward your goals with greater energy, face challenges in life with less anxiety, and speak without diffidence.

Many people have a disempowering mindset in relation to confidence, thinking that it’s the type of thing that you either have or you don’t, or that it depends on how you feel in the moment, or that you can only be confident if you have had success before (not true).

Once you realize that confidence is a skill that can be learned, and that you can become good at, then your energy is freed up to focus on the practical steps that will get you there.