The way you carry yourself is an expression of the way you feel within yourself—in other words, it’s a reflection of your self-image and identity. The key to lasting self-confidence is, without a doubt, a transformation of your internal self-image. This inner transformation takes time and is mainly an “inside job”, or “living inside out” as I describe in this article and in my book Wise Confidence.

And yet, this process can be aided by implementing what I call “outside in” approaches. These approaches work on your body, language, and mindset to help mimic the self-confidence you will have once you have fully integrated your new self.

In this spirit, here are 7 things you can do to carry yourself with confidence in your daily life.

1. Stand Confidently

When you stand confidently, adopt power poses, and move confidently, you send a powerful signal to yourself and to those around you that you are strong.

Power Poses is a termed coined by researcher Amy Cudder, who found that participants who held a power pose for two minutes showed greater confidence and courage in social interactions.

To adopt a power pose:

• Stand up straight, sit up straight, and keep your back straight when walking.
• Keep your back straight, whether standing, sitting, or walking.
• Keep your head level.
• Spread your body a little, placing your feet apart and making yourself big.
• Relax your shoulders, letting them go down and slightly back, so that your chest area naturally expands.
• Keep your arms open, not crossed.
• Spread your weight evenly on both legs.

Each of these elements of body language affects the perception of others. For example, when you keep your head level, rather than letting it hang down, it tells the world that you are energetic and optimistic, and that have your life in order.

If you have trouble relaxing your shoulders, try some backward bending poses in Yoga, or try Progressive Muscle Relaxation. In the latter, you systematically contract specific muscle groups as you inhale and hold your breath briefly, then exhale as you relax those muscles, releasing tension.

2. Maintain Good Eye Contact

Steady eye contact is crucial for conveying confidence because it demonstrates attentiveness, self-assurance, and trustworthiness. When you maintain eye contact, it shows that you’re engaged and comfortable in the situation, helping to establish a strong connection with others.

Eye contact also signals that you’re confident in what you’re saying, which makes you appear more credible and persuasive. Breaking eye contact too often can suggest insecurity or distraction, while maintaining a steady gaze fosters mutual respect and encourages open communication. In professional or social interactions, strong eye contact often leaves a lasting positive impression of confidence and competence.

To maintain eye contact, look people in the eye, and try to to hold firm but gentle eye contact for a little longer than you’d be comfortable. Make sure to adapt your approach to cultural norms and the need of the moment, and do not engage in staring, as that is interpreted as a sign of aggression.

Building a practice of Trataka meditation, especially on a candle flame or on a mirror reflection, will help you feel more comfortable about maintaining eye contact.

3. Stay Relaxed

Keep your face muscles calm and relaxed. Tension in your face signals stress, insecurity, and a sense that things are out of control.

When you are anxious, worried, or afraid, you don’t feel very confident. In fact, you feel overwhelmed by circumstances, and not in touch with your inner strength and resilience. Being calm—in your mind, in your body, and in your face—is exactly the opposite of that.

Being cool under pressure is the luxury of the confident. When you train yourself to maintain such relaxation, you will naturally feel more confident.

4. Move Slowly

Confident individuals use purposeful and deliberate hand gestures to emphasize their points, and they don’t fidget. Their gestures are open, with palms often facing up or out, signaling openness and honesty.

Fidgeting or nervous tics, such as touching the face, tapping fingers, or playing with objects, are signs of nervousness or insecurity. They tell other people, and also yourself, that you lack confidence.

One way to practice moving more slowly and deliberately is to breathe more slowly. Take deep breaths when you feel nervous, and try to be more aware of your breathing in general when engaging with people.

5. Take up Space

To carry yourself with confidence, feel comfortable taking up more space. This includes taking up more physical space, such as by adopting power poses, but also taking up more space metaphorically speaking, such as by speaking and acting with the belief that your opinions matter.

Train yourself to take up more space by being assertive with your words, expansive with your body, and bold with your goals.

6. Speak Purposefully

Speaking is one of the main modes of self-expression. In addition to the words you use, the features of your voice—volume, speed, depth, tonality—help tell the story about who you are. Your voice affects how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself.

Improving your communication skills, then, is an important factor that will allow you to carry yourself with more confidence. Here are some tips, taken from my book Wise Confidence:

• Talk less. If you talk too much, your words have less power, and your mind gets more agitated, decreasing your inner power. When you speak less, you stay calmer, and it’s easier to practice awareness.
• Talk purposefully. Breathe life, energy, and intention into your words, giving feeling to their meaning. Speak with the conviction that your point of view matters. While you may not be able to do so every time you speak, try practicing it a little bit every day and notice how you sound.
• Speak loudly and clearly. When you come from a place of confidence, you’re not afraid to own your voice. You speak because you have something to say. Your goal is to be heard and understood, not just to say words. If you naturally have a low tone of voice or tend to mumble, try this little trick: imagine that your listener is standing three feet farther away from you than they actually are.
• Speak unhurriedly. When you speak too fast, you’re sending out a message of nervousness, insecurity, or agitation. You are assuming that your listeners won’t pay attention. Ensure your voice and words have power by speaking at a relaxed pace.
• Speak assertively. Stand behind your words. Don’t downplay what you say by adding “I guess”, “Who knows?”, “Kinda”, or “I’ll try”. Don’t make every sentence sound like a question by ending it with a high intonation. If you make a request, do so with the feeling that you really want—and expect—it to be taken seriously.

7. Talk Positively To Yourself

The seventh way to show up with more confidence is to change the way you talk about yourself. With this we are beginning to enter into the territory of the internal work, and moving beyond just tricks for instant confidence.

The way you talk to yourself is a result of your core identity, but it also re-shapes your identity. In a nutshell, you want to avoid toxic mental habits, and develop positive ones.

Watch out for the following patterns:

• Perfectionism
• Impostor syndrome (“never good enough”)
• Attachment to past pain (resentment, regrets)
• Beating yourself up (self-criticism, self-loathing)
• Second guessing yourself
• Comparing yourself to other people
• Fear of failure
• Overthinking/rumination, leading to excessive worry
• Catastrophizing

Instead, through the use of positive affirmations, meditation, and visualization, cultivate the following positive mindsets:

• Self-acceptance (of your strengths, weaknesses, and uniqueness)
• Growth mindset (knowing you can learn any skill you need in order to succeed)
• Self-compassion (treating yourself with kindness)
• Positive self-talk (encouraging yourself and believing in your capacity)
• Celebrating victories and achievements, however small
• Cultivating self-love via self-care practices

Conclusion

Here you’ve learned seven strategies to carry yourself with confidence in both your personal life and your professional life. These approaches will help you immediately experience greater confidence. For this to be a permanent self-transformation for you, however, you’ll need to pair these tactics with the deeper work work of shifting your core beliefs and identity.