Some people struggle with self-doubt, while others seem to be born confident. What makes them that way? In this article I’ll explore the causes and origins of the state known as confidence.

Confidence comes from our self-image—the way we think and feel about ourselves. It is a subjective experience of our capacity, strength, and skills, and therefore it comes from our self-talk and sense of identity.

Unraveling the Psychology Behind Confidence

What is the psychology behind confidence? It is an act of optimism and self-love. Confidence is, basically, self-belief.

Here are some of the main concepts in psychology around the nature and origin of confidence:

• Self-Efficacy Theory (Bandura): Confidence arises from belief in one’s ability to succeed at specific tasks. High self-efficacy leads to greater effort and resilience.
• Attribution Theory: Confidence is shaped by how individuals attribute success or failure—whether to internal or external factors.
• Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT): Confidence is linked to how we talk to ourselves—our thought patterns.
• Growth Mindset Theory (Carol Dweck): Confidence is cultivated as part of a growth mindset, where you believe you can improve your abilities and skills through effort, feedback, and learning.

My system for developing confidence, Wise Confidence, is more aligned with the psychological underpinnings of the Growth Mindset theory. The key to developing confidence is reshaping your identity, or self-image.

People who are naturally confident are so due to an upbringing filled with positive reinforcement and experiences of success. You may envy them, but the truth is that until their confidence is put to the test through the trials and tribulations of life, you can’t be sure that it’s true confidence.

For most of us, confidence is something that needs to be cultivated—and, for that, awareness is a key element.

The Role of Self-Awareness in Confidence-Building

Most experts agree that cultivating an awareness of your unique strengths is important for building confidence. The strengths or qualities that you naturally have are actually your superpowers; they are internal resources that can be tapped into for strength in times of need.

Yet there is another way that awareness is powerful in building confidence—and one that not many people talk about. It is the awareness of your vision, awareness of the person you aspire to be.

In my work I call this your Aspirational Identity. You can call it “best self”, “future self”, “new me”, “me 2.0”, or whatever you like. The point is that you create a clear blueprint for the person you want to be, with all the confidence (and other qualities) you want it to have. Then you decide to think, act, and live as that person, day after day.

The practice, then, is to cultivate awareness of your aspirational identity moment after moment, and then consciously shift into it. If your aspirational identity is perfectly calm, confident, and courageous, then you shift into that mode of being and show up like that, one moment at a time, in your life.

If you do this consistently for some time, eventually you get to a point where you begin to operate naturally from the new paradigm. This works based on the principle of psychological flexibility, explored in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Other Approaches in Cultivating Confidence

While working on your new identity is the core of your transformation into confidence, these other approaches add strength to the change.

Adopting a Growth Mindset for Confidence

As mentioned above, a growth mindset is essential for confidence. With a growth mindset you believe that you are capable of developing whatever skill, quality, or knowledge you need to achieve your goals. This means that you are optimistic about your capacity to grow and overcome the challenges of life.

The opposite is the fixed mindset, where you are locked into your current identity and cannot grow beyond it. In this mindset, either you have confidence or you don’t, and there is not much you can do to cultivate it.

Small Steps Towards Significant Confidence Gains

The way you frame your goals can either make or break your confidence. If you frame them in a way that makes them feel impossible, or in a way that makes the first step overwhelming, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Instead, create goals that are clear and specific, and that are broken down into small steps. This is called Baby Steps. When the steps ahead of you are simple and easy, you can make progress more quickly. This helps you gain momentum and feel good, and with this early taste of success comes increased confidence.

Embracing Failures as Stepping Stones to Confidence

What is your self-talk around failure? Do you tell yourself that it’s all over, that one failure is proof you can’t make it? If so, failure is breaking your confidence.

But you can tell yourself a more empowering story. You can tell yourself that failure is only feedback, a needed step for growth. Failures say nothing about who you are—they only tell you where you are in the process.

Know that every setback is an opportunity to learn and take a new step. Be determined to learn from every failure, and to get up as many times as you fall, no matter what. If you see it that way, then every failure will be a failure forward, and will actually help you reinforce your self-belief.

The Role of Professional Guidance

Confidence is a skill that can be learned—and as with every skill, you can accelerate your path if you have a good coach or mentor. On top of that, it’s quite possible that your struggles with low self-confidence or low self-esteem are connected to some form of trauma growing up (study).

Conclusion

Confidence is not arrogance, and it’s not the same as being competent. Rather, it is a skill that you can develop. It involves cultivating self-awareness around your strengths and your aspirational identity, plus using that to develop positive self-talk around what you are capable of.

Once you understand where confidence comes from, it is easier to focus your efforts in the right direction. Confidence is a subjective perception of your abilities and capacity, and not an objective fact based on past successes. Knowing this, you can begin growing your confidence, today, by changing the most important story you tell yourself: the story of who you are.