Speaking is one of the main modes of self-expression. The features of your voice—volume, speed, depth, tonality—help tell the story about who you are, in addition to the words you use. Your voice affects how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself.

The body and mind are tightly connected, and you can work on either when developing confidence. Since working on both is best, here are some tips for letting your verbal communication support your confidence. See Posture, Body Language, and Appearance for tips about non-verbal communication.

Key Reflections

Are the words you use and the way you speak making you feel more positive and empowered? Or are they confirming your conditioned identity? Are they highlighting your value to those around you, or reinforcing a poor image?

How would your aspirational identity speak?

A person lacking confidence speaks hesitantly, doesn’t project their voice, and doesn’t put energy or intention behind the words. Some people tend to apologize for everything, reinforcing a feeling that they are a constant bother.

A confident person speaks assertively, purposefully, and with focus. There is a calm certainty in the voice.

Guidelines

Talk less. If you talk too much, your words have less power, and your mind gets more agitated, decreasing your inner power. When you speak less, you stay calmer, and it’s easier to practice awareness.

Talk purposefully. Breathe life, energy, and intention into your words, giving feeling to their meaning. Speak with the conviction that your point of view matters. While you may not be able to do so every time you speak, try practicing it a little bit every day and notice how you sound.

Speak loudly and clearly. When you come from a place of confidence, you’re not afraid to own your voice. You speak because you have something to say. Your goal is to be heard and understood, not just to say words. If you naturally have a low tone of voice or tend to mumble, try this little trick: imagine that your listener is standing three feet farther away from you than they actually are.

Speak unhurriedly. When you speak too fast, you’re sending out a message of nervousness, insecurity, or agitation. You are assuming that your listeners won’t pay attention. Ensure your voice and words have power by speaking at a relaxed pace.

Speak assertively. Stand behind your words. Don’t downplay what you say by adding “I guess”, “Who knows?”, “Kinda”, or “I’ll try”. Don’t make every sentence sound like a question by ending it with a high intonation. If you make a request, do so with the feeling that you really want—and expect—it to be taken seriously.

You can enhance all of these elements by focusing on the throat chakra as you speak. For a more guided approach, check out the Throat Chakra meditation in the app.

In Closing

Your voice is your power, so use it responsibly and kindly. It’s not about speaking in a dominant way, but in an empowered way. It’s not about persuasion, but about energy.

For a deeper dive into these concepts, see Chapter 14 of Wise Confidence.